28 October 2009

HELLevator

It's time for MORE in a long list of things I hate about the elevator.
The delightful elevators in my office building are a unique sort of square-ish, six-sided shape. It's mostly a square, but then, there are these extra walls...

Nevermind, it's not important.

What is important is that people are leotarded and don't know how to use the elevator.

Example!
This morning, I am the last of four people to hop in the elevator, and it is my lucky life that I work on the top stop for my particular set of elevators. No matter what, I must wait, because I'm always the last person to get off. (Story of my life, right? Ha, ha!)
Yeahhh...aanyway. So, I get in there, and there's a dude taking up the right wall, another dude bogarting the left wall, and some girl in really awful sandal-boots (in this weather? C'mon, bitch, those aren't even cute. No excuse.) is monopolizing the entire back wall (a lovely concave structure consisting of three smaller walls.)
So, I get in, and I have to stand at the front of the elevator, awkwardly standing in front of my 'companions,' with my nose to the door. Which is a weird situation to begin with, but becomes infinitely more awkward as the elevator approaches the first destination. I start to panic. Which one of these assholes behind me is about to hop out? Which side should I be prepared to lean to? What if I lean right, and the right-wall guy is all "exCUSE me" - ugh! I'm like, come on! guy! If you were gonna be the first to leave, why did you make me stand there?

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