Remember when I said that you can get super-cheap wine at Trader Joe's? Well, you knew that. And while Mr. Charles Shaw's private reserve might not be the most impressive of table wines, add a little sugar and spice, and it magically transforms into the most delicious of boozy treats with a gross-sounding name!
So, it's actually MULLED wine, but it's pronounced like Mold. Mulled just means spiced, so all you have to do is dump a bottle of cheap wine in a big pot, put it on medium or med-low (not too hot - you just want to simmer, NO bubbling at all) put in a few teaspoons of brown sugar (I like 3, you might like more or less) and a few pinches of mulling spices.* I recommend red wine, obvs. Then just simmer on the stove for about twenty minutes, and serve warm in mugs! Delightful!
*I awesomely found tinned Mulling Spices at the freakin' drugsto for only 99 cents on sale! Deals! But if you don't have tinned spices, just assemble some cinnamon sticks (2ish), some cardamom seeds, maybe some dried or fresh orange peel (make sure you wash it if it's fresh!!!), some cloves, and perhaps a vanilla bean even. Hell yeah!
28 December 2009
I Love Grocery Shopping!
...I really do. I could just browse the aisles for hours finding all the delicious, weird things I might have otherwise overlooked! I could also easily spend over $200 in one go, which is far more than I'd spend on clothes during a single-shop stop. It's difficult to budget oneself and limit whimsical purchases when you are really stoned at the Gro. I mean, it's a challenge, but it's still the best way to go about it. Jeebus, but I love food.
So I live really close to QFC, we're talking four blocks west and one block south...of my apartment. The convenience is not overlooked, mind you - I even found a totally sweet bag-lady cart there! (You know, those square ones with the four wheels that you can fill with stuff...like bag ladies and people in New York use? Yeah, awesome.) But, despite their abundant deli cheese aisle and totally-sweet drug-store and bed/bath/beyond type annexes, they are motherfuckin' EXPENSIVE! Like, damn! I mean, sometimes you'll get a great sale deal, but overall...not so much.
This is why I must talk to you about Trader Joe's! Dudes! It's so fucking cheap! Seriously! I don't know why, but it is. Sadly, it's quite a few more blocks up the road, but I have Melissa's car this week, so I'm a mobile machine! Yeah!! Plus, Trader Joe's has bottles of wine for $3!!! (In WA, at least...thanks, WSLCB! You suck!) But I digress. They also have lots of great cartons of soup bases that are suuuper great and easy for making a soup out of anything. Last night, I cooked a cup of lentils, and added a carton of the TJ's Butternut Squash soup, plus some thawed frozen corn, and viola! It was a delicious, hearty vegan soup! And it was so cheap! Unfortunately, it looked kinda like barf. I added some cumin and curry powder to enhance the squash, and a little salt and pepper and onion powder. (Remember, salt is added last! Or you'll ruin your lentils!!)
You could really add any number of combos to a soup base, even meat if you like it. I think these are tastier and probably better for you than some shitty campbell's canned broth...blech.
Anyway, I am sharing this with you because I totally spent ONLY $100 at TJ's, and I bought a full cart-load of crap!!
I even got some newfangled hippy shitty-litter for Nigel, which I think will help with that whole crumb-bum problem we seem to be having...
So I live really close to QFC, we're talking four blocks west and one block south...of my apartment. The convenience is not overlooked, mind you - I even found a totally sweet bag-lady cart there! (You know, those square ones with the four wheels that you can fill with stuff...like bag ladies and people in New York use? Yeah, awesome.) But, despite their abundant deli cheese aisle and totally-sweet drug-store and bed/bath/beyond type annexes, they are motherfuckin' EXPENSIVE! Like, damn! I mean, sometimes you'll get a great sale deal, but overall...not so much.
This is why I must talk to you about Trader Joe's! Dudes! It's so fucking cheap! Seriously! I don't know why, but it is. Sadly, it's quite a few more blocks up the road, but I have Melissa's car this week, so I'm a mobile machine! Yeah!! Plus, Trader Joe's has bottles of wine for $3!!! (In WA, at least...thanks, WSLCB! You suck!) But I digress. They also have lots of great cartons of soup bases that are suuuper great and easy for making a soup out of anything. Last night, I cooked a cup of lentils, and added a carton of the TJ's Butternut Squash soup, plus some thawed frozen corn, and viola! It was a delicious, hearty vegan soup! And it was so cheap! Unfortunately, it looked kinda like barf. I added some cumin and curry powder to enhance the squash, and a little salt and pepper and onion powder. (Remember, salt is added last! Or you'll ruin your lentils!!)
You could really add any number of combos to a soup base, even meat if you like it. I think these are tastier and probably better for you than some shitty campbell's canned broth...blech.
Anyway, I am sharing this with you because I totally spent ONLY $100 at TJ's, and I bought a full cart-load of crap!!
I even got some newfangled hippy shitty-litter for Nigel, which I think will help with that whole crumb-bum problem we seem to be having...
16 December 2009
Quick and Dirty Eggy "Salad"
Ughh, I haven't been cooking much this week, because I've got the creepin' crud and I feel far too nasty to be cooking anything. And I just feel too dirty to feed my creations to others in good confidence and with a clear conscience.
So, we'll do one of the easy ones...this is a crowd pleaser, ladies and gentleman...at least, it's a man pleaser. Um, well, it's a my-man pleaser. Yeah, my boyfriend, JP, really gets excited about egg salad, and I hope you will too!
Sorry Vegans, there's no egg salad for you.
From the Coop:
-->8 to 10 eggs - more or less depending on how much you want. I find 7 or 8 eggs is enough for at least three sandwiches. (Did I tell you? We're gonna put the egg salad on two slices of toast and call it a sandwich. Optional: add a slice of cheese. This is JP's preferred way.)
-->Mustard! (Just a squirt, any kind will do. Dijon, Grey Poupon, Even Old Skool French's)
-->MAYO! (I know it's horrible, but it's true. You need Mayonnaise. at least 2 tablespoons)
-->Spices, yo! (I'd recommend Paprika, Dill, and a little salt and pepper. You might add a pinch of chili powder for some hotness, too)
-->Don't forget the PICKLES!!! (Ok, you don't have to do this if it's too fancy or you don't like sweet pickles, but I really do so what I like to do is dice up a couple of sweet mini-pickles*, and a couple of sour, too. You want at least 1/4 cup of diced pickles...the smaller the pieces, the better!!) ...Green olives or other pickled veg would also be appropriate, and I know bland people who prefer chopped celery, which is kinda gross.
*I buy mini-pickles, I like them better. I don't know why.
In the Kitchen:
-->Hard-Boil your eggs! This isn't as easy as it sounds, dudes, so just follow these easy instructions. First, fill your pot with cool water and a healthy dose of SALT. Gently set the eggs into the pot, and put it on HIGH. Once the water comes to a rolling boil, set a timer for TWELVE MINUTES and allow eggs to boil. Remove from heat and replace water with cold water, allowing the eggs to cool for about ten minutes, which will make them MUCH easier to peel.
--> Next, is the fun part: Drop your eggs, mustard, mayo, pickles and spices all into a big bowl. I like to just mix mine in a big tupperware, so it's all ready to go into the fridge if we don't eat it all tonight. Then, taking a big spoon or potato masher, SMASH everything up until the eggs are broken into dice-sized chunks and the mayo and mustard and everything else is well-mixed into a nice yellow.
--> Viola. Now go make some toast to put it on.
So, we'll do one of the easy ones...this is a crowd pleaser, ladies and gentleman...at least, it's a man pleaser. Um, well, it's a my-man pleaser. Yeah, my boyfriend, JP, really gets excited about egg salad, and I hope you will too!
Sorry Vegans, there's no egg salad for you.
From the Coop:
-->8 to 10 eggs - more or less depending on how much you want. I find 7 or 8 eggs is enough for at least three sandwiches. (Did I tell you? We're gonna put the egg salad on two slices of toast and call it a sandwich. Optional: add a slice of cheese. This is JP's preferred way.)
-->Mustard! (Just a squirt, any kind will do. Dijon, Grey Poupon, Even Old Skool French's)
-->MAYO! (I know it's horrible, but it's true. You need Mayonnaise. at least 2 tablespoons)
-->Spices, yo! (I'd recommend Paprika, Dill, and a little salt and pepper. You might add a pinch of chili powder for some hotness, too)
-->Don't forget the PICKLES!!! (Ok, you don't have to do this if it's too fancy or you don't like sweet pickles, but I really do so what I like to do is dice up a couple of sweet mini-pickles*, and a couple of sour, too. You want at least 1/4 cup of diced pickles...the smaller the pieces, the better!!) ...Green olives or other pickled veg would also be appropriate, and I know bland people who prefer chopped celery, which is kinda gross.
*I buy mini-pickles, I like them better. I don't know why.
In the Kitchen:
-->Hard-Boil your eggs! This isn't as easy as it sounds, dudes, so just follow these easy instructions. First, fill your pot with cool water and a healthy dose of SALT. Gently set the eggs into the pot, and put it on HIGH. Once the water comes to a rolling boil, set a timer for TWELVE MINUTES and allow eggs to boil. Remove from heat and replace water with cold water, allowing the eggs to cool for about ten minutes, which will make them MUCH easier to peel.
--> Next, is the fun part: Drop your eggs, mustard, mayo, pickles and spices all into a big bowl. I like to just mix mine in a big tupperware, so it's all ready to go into the fridge if we don't eat it all tonight. Then, taking a big spoon or potato masher, SMASH everything up until the eggs are broken into dice-sized chunks and the mayo and mustard and everything else is well-mixed into a nice yellow.
--> Viola. Now go make some toast to put it on.
04 December 2009
I Can't Believe it's POT Butter!
...And you won't believe how easy it is to make! Yes, now you too can be an expert at creating tasty treats that will get you high. It is totally awesome, and no smoke is involved, so no one has to know....
So basically, the active molecule of weed, THC, is lipophilic, which means it bonds to fat molecules (lipo = fat, phil = love, so THC loves fat.) For us, this means that in order to infuse our dish with THC WITHOUT having to chew down a bunch of nasty plant bits, we must first create an infusion of butter/futter/oil and weed.
What we do is, we call our guy, and ask him if he has some shake. Shake works nicely because you don't have to grind it, and it is about 1/2 the price of bud. Anyway, you can scale the amount of shake you use to how potent you want your butter to be - I'd say about 3-4 grams of bud OR 6-7 grams of shake per stick (1/2 cup - did you know that a stick of butter equals 1/2 a cup? Now you do) of butter/oil.
So first, we melt our futter. I strongly suggest using margarine instead of actual butter, because margarine won't burn, and it can get complicated to make it using real butter if you want to prevent burnage...I won't get into it today.
Anyway, so oil or futter. I find most brownie boxes (a classic) call for oil, so that is why I am mentioning it here.
So, put the fat in a nice pot and put it on medium-low heat. Once it's melty if it's margarine, dump in the green stuff. Stir occasionally over a period of about 2 hours. If you're in a hurry, you CAN turn the heat up high and super-cook it for a shorter time period (15-20 minutes) but you will end up with a much more weedy-tasting finished product. I highly reccomend the slow-heat.
Once it's done cooking, go ahead and remove from heat and let it sit while you set up the next step. This is where it gets a little hot and dangerous, so kids, don't do this without your mom or dad's help. What your next task is, is to strain from the futter/oil ALL the little green particulate matter that is floating around. Now that it's been cooked, it's useless and should be thrown out - do not smoke it for the love of god. All the good stuff is now in the futter.
So, what we do is, we acquire a good material for straining the butter, and secure it snugly to the opening of whatever receptacle you want to pour the stuff into. Good materials to use to strain the butter include CHEESECLOTH (if you are fancy - but you can get it cheap at the gro,) COFFEE FILTER (if you drink coffee, I guess,) or a CLEAN piece of NYLON PANTYHOSE (Emphasis on the clean). All of these are good because they won't let nary a FIBER of the used-up plant into the receptacle. I use a pyrex measuring cup, and a rubber-band to secure the cheesecloth around the opening. I also suggest pushing a small "dip" into the straining material, so you have a space to pour the liquid into.
Make sure you pour VERY SLOWLY, as it will take time for the oils to drip through the material. It is also very fucking hot at this point, so please be careful.
Once you have strained your oil or butter, it is ready for use! Use just as you would regular butter or oil as is called for in your recipe. Of course, you can always cut with "plain" butter to dilute the potency. Now you can experiment with all kinds of funny foods! Baked Potatos! Stoney Soup! Magic Muffins!
Godspeed, and enjoy.
So basically, the active molecule of weed, THC, is lipophilic, which means it bonds to fat molecules (lipo = fat, phil = love, so THC loves fat.) For us, this means that in order to infuse our dish with THC WITHOUT having to chew down a bunch of nasty plant bits, we must first create an infusion of butter/futter/oil and weed.
What we do is, we call our guy, and ask him if he has some shake. Shake works nicely because you don't have to grind it, and it is about 1/2 the price of bud. Anyway, you can scale the amount of shake you use to how potent you want your butter to be - I'd say about 3-4 grams of bud OR 6-7 grams of shake per stick (1/2 cup - did you know that a stick of butter equals 1/2 a cup? Now you do) of butter/oil.
So first, we melt our futter. I strongly suggest using margarine instead of actual butter, because margarine won't burn, and it can get complicated to make it using real butter if you want to prevent burnage...I won't get into it today.
Anyway, so oil or futter. I find most brownie boxes (a classic) call for oil, so that is why I am mentioning it here.
So, put the fat in a nice pot and put it on medium-low heat. Once it's melty if it's margarine, dump in the green stuff. Stir occasionally over a period of about 2 hours. If you're in a hurry, you CAN turn the heat up high and super-cook it for a shorter time period (15-20 minutes) but you will end up with a much more weedy-tasting finished product. I highly reccomend the slow-heat.
Once it's done cooking, go ahead and remove from heat and let it sit while you set up the next step. This is where it gets a little hot and dangerous, so kids, don't do this without your mom or dad's help. What your next task is, is to strain from the futter/oil ALL the little green particulate matter that is floating around. Now that it's been cooked, it's useless and should be thrown out - do not smoke it for the love of god. All the good stuff is now in the futter.
So, what we do is, we acquire a good material for straining the butter, and secure it snugly to the opening of whatever receptacle you want to pour the stuff into. Good materials to use to strain the butter include CHEESECLOTH (if you are fancy - but you can get it cheap at the gro,) COFFEE FILTER (if you drink coffee, I guess,) or a CLEAN piece of NYLON PANTYHOSE (Emphasis on the clean). All of these are good because they won't let nary a FIBER of the used-up plant into the receptacle. I use a pyrex measuring cup, and a rubber-band to secure the cheesecloth around the opening. I also suggest pushing a small "dip" into the straining material, so you have a space to pour the liquid into.
Make sure you pour VERY SLOWLY, as it will take time for the oils to drip through the material. It is also very fucking hot at this point, so please be careful.
Once you have strained your oil or butter, it is ready for use! Use just as you would regular butter or oil as is called for in your recipe. Of course, you can always cut with "plain" butter to dilute the potency. Now you can experiment with all kinds of funny foods! Baked Potatos! Stoney Soup! Magic Muffins!
Godspeed, and enjoy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
